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Wedding Speech Material

Our archive is packed with thousands of rip-roaring lines, hilarious anecdotes, tributes, roasts and toasts to help you craft a blockbuster wedding speech today.

reproacher

"It's traditional for the best man to let the bride's parents know what sort of man their daughter has married. So I might as well start at the beginning, because Paul and I have been through a lot together in fact, we were just saying earlier how glad we are that none of them have turned up today."

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best man speech archive

"It is traditional at this point for the best man to extol the virtues of the bride and then introduce her to the less palatable facts of her new husband's history. With this in mind, I would like to start by addressing Paul's fondness for being called 'The Daddy'."

groom speech archive

"Good evening everyone, thank you all for coming. I must say that Ive been overwhelmed at the size of Lindas family. But despite what she said, I think youre all alright!"

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"Before I begin, please can we ensure that all the aisles and fire exits are kept clear throughout the reception. Theres a medical team waiting outside the building, and Id like them to have a clear run when Im presented with the final bill."

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"I am thankful for everything my parents have ever done for me; the loving way they raised me, helping me through college, teaching me how to cook and clean the house which they thought would come in handy just in case I couldnt find a husband."

groom speech archive

"Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen This wont take long because as you know Im a man of few words, but I guess thats fine now Im married."

Basics

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Wedding Speeches Explained

The roster of wedding speeches typically begins with the father of the bride, followed by a few words from the groom and finally a comedic showstopper courtesy of his best man. However, in recent years a trend has developed where the bride herself also says a few words. Regardless of who is doing the speaking, the purpose of a wedding speech is to thank everyone in attendance, pay tribute to those who made the day happen, offer a brief insight into the lives of the newlyweds, and entertain the audience.

Wedding Speech Tips

Before you write a single line you must first decide on a tone and style which suits you, but also your intended audience.
Generate material by mining memories for anecdotes and sourcing quotes from friends and family.
Surprise the audience with well-timed jokes, wedding speeches that contain humour are more memorable.
An ideal length for a wedding speech is eight to ten minutes.
Throw in some relevant topical references, but only if they'll make sense to everyone outside of your group of friends.
Anecdotes included in wedding speeches should be amusing, but should not be cruel or cause offence.
Include friendly digs and optimistic remarks in equal measure. Don't just mercilessly make fun of the occasion.
Wedding speeches should not be accompanied by a video, they give the impression that the speaker is not confident.
Draw on the day's events for humour, particularly if the dad's a bit stingy or there's that one Aunt who always gets trashed.
Go out with a bang. Riddling the front row with an Uzi is one way to achieve this, but it's more acceptable to use your final line as a summary of the occasion.

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Material

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Revisiting old memories can spark off new thoughts and ideas for your wedding speech. There are many events which may have crossed your mind in the run-up to the wedding and with the right setup, these can be used to form the basis of an amusing tale. The most entertaining parts of a wedding speech are those that draw upon real-life emotions.

"I've been feeling rather nostalgic in the run-up to the wedding. Yesterday, I went by the house where I grew up and asked to go in to look around, but they said no and shut the door in my face! My parents can be so rude!"

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"Paul's really got carried away thinking about his wedding. The other day he was watching 'Say Yes To The Dress' when I suddenly turned up out of the blue. When he saw me, he quickly whacked some porn on to avoid embarrassment."

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"In the weeks leading up to the wedding I've been having to contend with a lot of nuisance phone calls. The most common one seems to be, "You said you'd have Gary home from the pub three hours ago!"

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""In the run up to the wedding I was concerned that Karen was having an affair, as I've barely seen her at all. She claims to have been going to classes, yet she still can't speak a word of Zumba!"

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A best man weaves together a seemingly sincere tribute to the bride and groom. Listeners are expecting the kind sentiments to continue, but suddenly the story swerves.

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Tap into the world's most extensive and up-to-date offering of wedding speech content, featuring: clever ideas, witty one-liners, apt phrases and touching sentiment. Take inspiration from great speeches and use our database of contemporary wedding speech material and fresh topical humour to craft a personalised piece.

bardane

Over 5,000 comical lines, hilarious observations, put-downs and roasts for a best man speech.

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